I remember a day that I had the perfect opportunity to make a major RBA (relationsip bank account- term from 7 Habits of a Highly Effective Teen by Sean Covey) deposit and didn't.

One of those deposits that doesn't seem that major, but when you get caught with your fly down or spinach in your teeth, you really appreciate someone letting you know.

I was eating lunch with three friends and an older couple with kids my age. The cafeteria was serving pipping hot cookies, chocolate chip ones, that we were scarfing down.

Then the couple's son strolls up with a hand full of cookies and starts chatting with the group. He begins telling some story and eating his cookies all at the same time.

Bad move, buddy!

Chewing with his mouth open, chocolate began coating his teeth and lips! Now I'm not exactly sure how you don't feel half a cookie on your face but I guess he found a way.

He continued to deliver his story but by this point I had no earthly idea what he was yakking about; all I could do was stare.

I jerked my eyes away to see if anyone else had noticed this oddity. As luck would have it, my three acquaintances had noticed and turned to look at each other with bewildered eyes. That was it! I busted out in giggles and had to cover it with fake coughing.

We tried subtle hints and desperately tried not to laugh but he plowed on in his story. No one told him, not even his parents. As far as we knew, he could have walked around all day that way.

So my entreatment is this:The next time something like that happens, just tell the person. I'm sure you would want them to do the same for you.

quote

This is an amazing quote, probably a new favorite:
"All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up."- James Baldwin

I think most artists ,of all kinds, would agree that this is true. As I created this blog and with each post I make, I feel I am vomitting up the anguish. My writings are my insides out.

Disconnected

I drift along
From day to day,
Without real...
Connection.

I need
Something,
to shake me.
Some say I need
Affection.

But a prince on his knee
Is not what I need.
And I don't need a useless
Collection.

So what do I need
To satisfy me?
If not a prince
On his knee
Or some collection?

Well
That's a good question.

I think I need direction.

Trusting Me

I don't understand why you don't trust me.
Must be something I'm missing, because
You continue to bust me for
Small things,
Stupid things,
Things I didn't even do.
I don't understand why you don't trust me.
I have good friends.
I make good grades.
I'm a good kid.
I do everything I should.
And everything else that I could.
But all of a sudden,
You call me a sneak,
In need of a tweak,
Even wonder if I'm a losing streak.
Why the switch?
Makes me want to ditch this shit.
Was it a snitch that caused this switch?
I don't understand this switch.
I don't understand why you don't trust me.

You have left me,
Forgotten.
All too busy.
Now I wait at home,
For someone to remember me,
But no one calls.
And I'm left,
Left to wonder,
Who do I turn to?
And I come up blank.

Look at me

I feel so alone.
I just need someone to hold me
Untill everything's alright.

But I can't find that person.

Everyone's too busy to notice,
Or my charade is too good to see through,
The fake smiles,
The "I'm fine"s.

But can't they see the tears in my eyes?

Yes they can,
If they take the second to look.

So please just pause to look.
Look at me.
Thats all I need.

Alone

You leave me.
Left alone.
For boyfriends,
For popularity.

You move.
Leave me.
Year after year,
Someone always leaves.

You forget me.
No calls,
No letters.
But I don't forget you.

You stab my back.
I hear this,
But refuse to believe.
It can't be true.
I trusted you,
And you told.

But it can't be.
Because that means
You're gone too.
And I'm left

Alone.